More FLYwashing

So the thing with not being behind has been weighing on my mind here lately. Because of actually being behind. But today, I had this little epiphany. An epiphanette if you will. I think what Flylady means is that I’m not behind today. I’m not behind this hour. I’m not behind in this moment. I can’t undo the mistakes I made yesterday, or this morning or 2 seconds ago. I can just jump in where I am and try to do the right thing now.

And the right thing to do is to build good habits–what Flylady refers to as routines. They are the backbone of her philosophy. The beauty of it is that if I develop good habits and am consistent with my routines, I will make up the backlog. I’ll catch up–without even trying. It’s like running a marathon as opposed to a half-mile. It feels really good these days when I’m running intervals and even getting below the 8 minute/mile pace on occasion. That feels awesome! But it makes me want to try to be fast on every run–to get that feeling of stretching my stride out, barely skimming the ground. To get my heart racing and push myself to the point of burning throat and lungs, gelatinous legs. It makes me feel…so many things. Good, young, not broken. Me again. But it doesn’t really accomplish anything. It doesn’t mean anything unless I can sustain it. I’m not to the point of being able to sustain sub-8 minute pace longer than a couple of minutes. I have to forgo the pleasure of moving quickly for the first time in years in order to achieve the goal of increasing my endurance. I have to pace myself, settle in, relax, breathe, not fight it. Find that steady, comfortable stride that will be efficient over the long haul.

Routines are pacing. It would feel awesome to get my house completely decluttered today, finish a year’s worth of homeschooling this week, lose all the weight this month–but that pace is not sustainable. I need routines. I need to settle in for the long haul. Breathe. Pace myself. Endure. That’s the only way I’ll ever reach the finish line.

Sunday Fun-day Family day

We went to a cool hiking place today with the Jonathans and Indiana. The three boys were pretty much too cute for words. I think cuteness is so associated with girls, but these boys are super cute. 100% Norman Rockwell boy cute.

An example, William just called to me from the bathroom that he just hypnotized himself. Boy cute.

Next up is the basketball game. I hope they can win today. (insert whine here) They try so hard, but all of the other teams have at least one superstar–the 8 year old equivalent of LeBron James. They can dribble while running and layups are like breathing. We don’t have one of those. But they’ve gotten better and better with each game and practice, and I just would really love for their hard work to pay off with a victory. They would be so excited. (end whine)

I’m watching Fight Quest right now. I don’t know why I like this show. I’m not big on boxing, and have no real interest in martial arts. But these guys are crazy. I think I like to watch crazy people. This particular episode is in Israel, learning Krav Maga. Krav Maga is even crazier than the other crazy fighting styles they’ve learned. One of the instructors is a girl, and she is hard core.

Scott’s been in the hospital for 6 days now. Crazy. I’m so glad we all took it seriously, even when he didn’t. Our family and our insane pain tolerance. Hopefully he’ll get to go home tomorrow.

Lol! Doug just said he’s pretty sure the girl instructor is not a stable person.

Last week was a pretty crappy week in all categories except work. I did get quite a bit of work done. At least the last half of the week. I had high hopes for this week, but this day is shot already. Maybe tomorrow. I hate starting tomorrow.

Ooo. Now they’re at the Dead Sea. I’ve been there! Pretty cool. Wow. Crazy lady keeps poking him in the eyes and stuff. I don’t think she comprehends the difference between training and actual life and death fights. Which is probably the point she’s trying to make. Crazy people make me shake my head and want to do situps.

I already ran once today, but I want to run again. I only did one workout because I didn’t want to be late for hiking. The hiking wasn’t much hiking. It was really flat and we went really slow and stopped to look at stuff. It was pretty cool stuff to look at as far as natural resources go.

I love Hebrew and also Arabic. They sound cool. I wish that the Rosetta Stone thing still worked because I miss learning Arabic.

Hehe. Crazy Krav Maga lady just told Doug, “If you go down, all of them come to you to beat on you.”

I really hope the basketball boys don’t get beat on again.

Memories

We went out to dinner this evening and were reminiscing over some of the funny things Jarek said when he was younger. We couldn’t remember the exact phrases, but JB was able to pull out his blackberry and look it up on Crystal’s blog. I need to blog those kind of memories more often because William makes me smile pretty much every single day with his enthusiasm or silliness or enthusiastic silliness. On the way home he came out with this gem:

W: What does GMC stand for? I forget.
Me: General Motors Corporation I think.
W: Oh yeah. Well, when I have my car company it’s going to be IGMC–It’s Great Making Cars.

I love my sweet, funny, big dreaming boy.

Catching up

Flylady says that you’re not behind and you don’t have to try to catch up. You can just jump in where you are. And I see what she’s saying. But I still feel behind. For example, we are still using homeschool materials from 2 years ago. They are grade-level appropriate, so William’s not technically behind–but it’s putting me behind what I want to get him through before he graduates. Which is crazy to worry about already! That’s like 10 years from now! At any rate, we’re trying to double up on as much stuff as we can, and it’s been pleasantly surprising that we get through two days’ of work in only about 1 hour longer than it takes to do one day’s worth.  It’s some weird Bermuda Triangle effect.

I feel like I’m behind on my bills too, but what can you do there? Is there really such a thing as enough money?

And then my weight. I guess I’m really ahead on my weight since I’ve got more than I need, but it just feels like another hole to dig out of.

I’m absolutely behind in housework, and definitely behind in training William to pick up after himself and be responsible for his belongings, but since I’m woefully behind in learning to do these things myself, I’m not sure where to begin with the teaching other than trying to learn myself and model for him.

It just feels like I’m behind in every aspect of my life. Work too. And even when I have a perfect day and get everything done, it’s not like I gain ground because doing one day’s worth still leaves me behind.

How do I let go of this? Can you really just jump in where you are? Because where I am is over my head.

Alive and doing more than running

I’m loving running again.  I’m feeling the pressure though.  I have verbally committed to a marathon in November.  My first one.  William asked if we get several days to run that many miles.  Heh.  That would simplify things greatly.  So now I know that I have to not. miss. workouts.

I’ve added in regular strength training which I think is helping my running out too.  My pace is getting crazy faster.  Like sub-10 some of the time.  I haven’t been that “fast”–it’s all relative–since college.  So never since the big knee blow-out.  I’m loving it!  Today I was going what felt like super duper slow and checked my Nike+ (lurve it) and I was going 11:15/mile pace.  Considering that I’ve been shooting for 15:00/mile pace, that was pretty exciting for me to go in the elevenses and feel like I was just cruising.

I’ve had a fairly productive week though, apart from just putting in miles.  All the balls/knives I have to juggle have spent a considerable amount of time airborne this week!  It’s been great.  Gives me hope that this crazy experiment of trying to be a single, editing, web designing, homeschooling, homemaking, staying-home mom might actually work.  Someday.  Practice makes perfect, or plausible, or something.

My kid is cool.  He’s learning so much in basketball and is running his miles in the 9:11 range these days. (!!)  That’s pretty impressive.

Oh yeah.  One last thing.  I can NOT wait!  To see Shaq play for the Suns!

C’est tout.